Nevertheless, She persisted.

Dogs and their effect on our mental health

mental health awareness week

"I can't do this anymore" was the monologue inside my head when I got home from a not great walk with Velma.

It's been a good few years since she'd run towards another dog and barked. I was caught out. The low evening sun in my eyes in a place we rarely/never meet anyone. Velma wasn't expecting anyone either so reacted instantly before I even knew there was another dog approaching us.

It was no big deal really. The man waved over to say everything was fine as I shouted my apology and put Velma on her lead.

But it's started that negative voice in my head. The spiralling of thoughts. Mean words said to myself. By the time I'd got back home I'd didn't feel good at all and was questioned if I should even own dogs, let alone be a dog trainer.

It took me a few days to get back to normal, this one little incident lasting less than a minute, put me in such a poor frame of mind it effected everything.

It led me to question, is owning a dog really that good for your mental health?

Studies show dogs are good for out mental health

There are many studies that cite the overall benefit of having a pet on our mental health.  There is scientific research on the positive effects of dogs on mental well-being.

69% of people survey by American Physiatry said their pet benefited their overall mental health.

The Blue Cross reported 58% of people, suffering with mental health illness, experienced positive benefits from the love they received from their pet.

In many ways, I don't dispute the mental health benefits of dogs ownership, after all I planned out this blog while walking my dogs in the rain.  Without my dogs, I would have probably been sat on the sofa mindlessly watching TV.

But, what if your dog has a negative effect on
​your mental health?

Infact, what if your dog is making your mental health worse?

None of the studies I read discussed some of the negative impacts of dogs on our mental health.  It almost feels taboo to mention it.

Yet, for many people, even when they love their dog with all their heart, owning a dog can be tough.  

There are so many ways in which our dogs need to fit into our lives. When they don't it often has a huge impact on our stress levels, anxiety and social confidence.  Some of these behaviours are perfectly normal dog behaviours;

• Does your dogs bark too much?
• Is your dog reactive to other dogs?
• Is your dog unsociable?
• Is your dog scared of strangers?
• Is your dog too friendly and runs up to other dogs?
• Does your dog jump up on people?
• Does your dog have separation anxiety?
• Does your dog not come back when off their lead?
• Does your dog have resource guarding or show aggression over food?

Yet, all these behaviours are stressful when you don't know how to resolve them.

Social media is awash with dog owners, walkers and trainers criticising others people who are almost always doing their best.  It puts so much pressure on people to feel like their dog has to be perfect at all times. 

Not to mention there is no such thing as a 100% trained dog.  Our dogs are autonomous creatures, not programmed robots, and even the most well trained, biddable dog does their own thing from time to time.

All this pressure means it doesn't take much before your perfectly normal dog starts to impact on your mental health.

Does your dog have a behaviour issue or are you traumatised?

On a fairly regular basis I see clients who have had an incident with their dog that has caused them to feel extremely stressed.  The narrative is almost always the same.

Their dog has had an interaction with another dog in a public space, like a park.  There has been growling, snapping, maybe a scuffle and the two dogs have walked away fine.

However, sometimes their have been harsh words exchanged between the people. Other times my client has just felt the weight of responsibility to be a good dog owner. Either way my client has felt like a terrible person and this has led them to seek help.

Other times, our dog's behaviour dog does have a real impact on our lives.  Living with dogs who are a risk, who cannot be left alone or who behave in ways that mean you struggle to keep them or those around them safe is a worry and can have a detrimental effect on mental well being. 

It's not your fault and you are not alone

'The first thing to understand is, you are not alone.  Many people experience stress from owning a dog.  

It may feel hard to believe, but it's also not your fault.  Not all dogs are easy.  Not all dogs who end up easy started that way.  Not all dogs fit smoothly into our lives.  

There's a million and one reasons some dogs are more stressful than others. Health, genetics, early socialisation, breed characteristics (or lack of), your dog's unique personality, and the environment you live in all interplay into how easy a dog is to live with.  Many of these things are outwith your control.

It's perfectly ok to adore your dog but also question your choices.

After my incident with Velma I had to really dig deep.  Was the incident with the other dog really that terrible or did I just FEEL terrible?

Even if your dog's behaviour issue seems overwhelming, it doesn't mean it can't be changed in a way that improves your relationship with your dog, your anxiety levels and your overall mental health.

Know that there is help and support out there.  Educated dog trainers can help get you are your dog on track.  Many of my clients feedback that it's a huge relief to have someone to talk to and that they feel much less anxious after working with me.  

It can sometimes feel hopeless, and like you can't imagine how a dog trainer could help. However, many training solutions are simple, straightforward but not necessarily something you would understand without professional help.

Velma is getting on for 9 years old now.  Even though at times she has caused me much stress, it's been worth it.  She is hilarious, affectionate and I love her to bits.  She's 100% made me a better dog trainer but I've also learned that I can't give up.  Even on the hard days I had to just grit my teeth, ignore that inner voice and "nevertheless, she persisted".

If you need help with your dog, and want judgement-free solutions that will help you feel less stressed.  Click the blue button below or message me for more info.

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